again

 4:13 PM

Welcome.

A counselor will be with you as soon as possible.

naked alien

I was waiting for someone to show up yesterday from seattle bhrt and no one ever showed up

4:14 PM

Misty (Counselor)

Hello, my name is Misty. Welcome to chat. I can imagine it was very disappointing to be waiting for someone, and not have them show up. I see that you are having some thoughts of suicide You must be feeling pretty awful. Would you like to talk about what has you feeling that suicide is an option for you?

4:15 PM

naked alien

No actually I really don't want to talk about that matter what I say it doesn't change what happens it doesn't change how anyone helps nothing ever happens I've been lonely for a decade just overcame a decade of homelessness I'm still waiting for someone to come rescue me and help me and I'm feeling like no one knows what help means I just need the seattle bhrt team to show up like they said they would

4:16 PM

It's been a year and a half in this apartment and getting the help I need should not be this difficult they shouldn't put all of it on me then even the people I ask for help just expect me to do everything myself and I'm sick of that

4:17 PM

I'm using voice typing so forgive the lack of punctuation

4:17 PM

I'm left feeling like nothing I say matters to anyone

4:18 PM

No one can just be human enough to just step into my life and be my friend I'm not good enough

4:19 PM

I'm too broken too damaged and people can't allow me to just be damaged

4:19 PM

Everyone helping me right now just dismisses my goals and ambition

4:20 PM

They act like teamwork is illegal for disabled people

4:20 PM

They have what I call cry wolf syndrome

4:20 PM

It feels like all of society is under a mind control illusion to keep the poor suffering

4:21 PM

They said they would show up yesterday but my neck pain turned into a migraine so I had to take a short nap and I really am hoping they didn't knock while I was napping if you could just let the seattle bhrt team know tell them I really need them as soon as possible

4:22 PM

Misty (Counselor)

I can understand that. It sounds like you have really been through and overcame so much, and you absolutely deserve to be able to get the help that you want and need. You absolutely matter, and so do your goals and ambition. I do want to check in on these thoughts of suicide that you have been having, if that is okay. I am wondering, have you had any thoughts of suicide in the past few days, in addition to today?

4:22 PM

naked alien

I wish someone would just not tell me but show me that my life matters or not you know like actions speak louder than words but no one cares enough everyone's too apathetic too busy too restricted

4:22 PM

I just want to start my own podcast build that into a film company then a tech company and I'm starting to wonder actually I've been wondering for a long time now how interesting do my ideas have to be how big do my goals have to be to get anyones attention I have told thousands of people and no one cares enough no one shows the slightest bit of interest

4:23 PM

People say I matter but they don't show it and now I really do not want to talk about no one understands what I say about it anyway so no I I really you got to stop asking I don't want to talk about that that is classified people have to earn that information it's not just everyone's business automatically you got to have some sort of policy like that or you're not helping anyone you're just revealing yourselves as spies do you understand that at all are you capable of understanding that

4:24 PM

People to stop asking questions they don't deserve the answer to and I need people to to start reaching out to me and being my friend and trying to understand me and accept me as I am that's what I need and society is too restricted to do that so why should I keep trying

4:25 PM

Misty (Counselor)

It is completely understandable that you are having such a difficult time, especially with being told that someone would be coming to support you, and not have them show up. I do want to also check in on your safety. Have you taken any action to harm yourself in any way today?

4:26 PM

naked alien

Don't just keep asking me questions and telling me what to do you're not helping anything I just need the seattle bhrt team to be contacted for me because I don't have a phone don't want a phone I'm boycotting tech and internet for mental health purposes which no one will understand that either but still I just I'm I don't know why I keep asking for stuff I don't know why I keep asking for stuff I seriously don't the answer is always no the answer is always no that's all the answer will ever be that's all anyone is capable of saying why should I keep asking anyone for anything no one knows how to actually do anything no one knows what help means can you just contact seattle bhrt or not because this is really a waste of time right here

4:26 PM

Ok now you're just sounding like a robot could you please stop asking those questions could you understand what I'm telling you please are you capable of understanding what I'm saying you're really frustrating me it triggers me every time you ask that **** you need to stop you need to understand what I'm telling you I am only asking you one simple thing right now you need to focus on that ok stop asking me that crap

4:27 PM

Why can't anyone understand that that triggers me every time it's an exponentially worsening trigger

4:28 PM

How to answer it I never have an answer that's good enough for any of you I am never understood and no matter what I say it doesn't change the help I get how would you feel if you were in my situation and that was the result you got

4:28 PM

Would you feel any compassion or empathy or would you just feel a cold world apathetic where no one cares no one is capable of caring I've truly caring and showing that they care through actions not words

4:29 PM

I am asking one simple thing for you to contact bhrt seattle I live in fairwood renton my name is ozz o double z

4:30 PM

I would really love any sort of affirmation that you actually understand what I'm saying because I feel I honestly feel more understood by chatgpt and this is sad

4:30 PM

I need human connection and compassion and this world just refuses to relent we're at a standoff stalemate and neither side will budge every both sides have to be so immature just nope we're not going to help nope you have to change nope you're not good enough

4:31 PM

Completely unaware that the feelings mutual

4:31 PM

We'll see whose standards are higher

4:32 PM

I could tell you that I want to revolutionize the internet and inject a whole bunch of fun into it with my tech company but that's not going to make you be my friend that's not going to make you care enough a why don't you think that's sad

4:33 PM

If you had any idea how many people I've told that idea too

4:33 PM

How does heartening it can get after this many times

4:33 PM

Just an ocean of apathy

4:33 PM

Misty (Counselor)

I am incredibly sorry if I came off as robot sounding. Sometimes talking through text, it can be easy to sound that way. I also wanted to apologize for the delay in response. I was waiting to respond, so that I could give you the opportunity to finish your thought. Unfortunately, I am not able to get into contact with this service for you. I would encourage you to call 9-8-8, and talk with them about the situation, and they may be able to better help you with this.

4:34 PM

naked alien

On a plane once I got to see an ocean of not yet fallen ocean never even got to tell anyone that story

4:34 PM

I haven't been able to finish a thought in two decades I told you I don't have a phone don't want a phone you did this for me yesterday I'm just asking you to do it again and make it a little easier for me this time yes you are allowed to contact seattle bhrt you did it the other day don't keep throwing these restrictions in my face ok that's not working anymore I'm not accepting it it's against my personal policy

4:35 PM

I already told you that's all anyone ever says to me is no you need to start changing your answer maybe people would stop suffering so much if you changed your answer

4:35 PM

Because right now I tell you you're nothing but a source of triggers for people who are depressed you're just making it more depressing more discouraging more disappointing I would love to see the statistics someday of how many lives you save versus how many lives you fail to save a little pie chart

4:36 PM

The hard truth not your typical apple pie

4:37 PM

You shouldn't be hrt to me on saturday they were supposed to send people to me again yesterday are you understanding any of this

4:38 PM

Do you know what it's like to have a tornado of trauma and goals over your head that no one else can see and everyone else underestimates everyone else acts like it should be like a backpack you should just be able to drop at any moment to appease the week have any idea how that feels

4:39 PM

To feel this invisible overlooked sidelined neglected dismissed

4:40 PM

Prisoner to a world of no can't I don't know and do it yourself southall pamphlet propaganda fortune cookie indoctrination

4:40 PM

My words fall at my feet so I'm just wasting breath till you make a phone call

4:41 PM

Smoking a joint and petting my cat

4:42 PM

Misty (Counselor)

I really want to give you the best support I can for you today. Unfortunately, I am limited in what I am able to do for you over chat. I am hearing how neglected and overlooked you are feeling. As I mentioned, if you are contacting Lifeline for this service, I encourage you to call 9-8-8 for your concerns.

4:42 PM

naked alien

No you're not actually that limited you're just saying you are because you get paid to

4:43 PM

You really don't understand when I say I don't have a phone you don't understand that do you

4:43 PM

You just called them for me on saturday stop acting like you can't stop wasting my time stop frustrating me

4:44 PM

That's all you're capable of saying is can't and no when you think that helps people

4:44 PM

I really don't think you're qualified to help anyone none of you are you're just a bunch of barricades with shoes

4:45 PM

You called them for me on saturday why are you telling me you can't now

4:45 PM

Misty (Counselor)

I do hear you saying that you do not have a phone. Unfortunately, it was not me that you spoke with on Saturday. I am very sorry, but I am not sure of the service you are asking about. I will not tolerate being spoke to disrespectfully, and I am going to have to disconnect the chat if it continues.

4:45 PM

naked alien

How useless are you paid to be

4:45 PM

Then get your supervisor now does someone with moral authority now I'm tired of this run around so very tired

4:46 PM

Misty (Counselor)

This service is monitored for inappropriate activity and abusive behavior will be reported. Please call us at 9-8-8 if you need support or assistance.

4:46 PM

4:46 PM

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4:46 PM

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